Sound the alarm---it's time for the friggin' progress CHRISKWANZUKKAH Rumor Patrol!?!?!
Greetings! And Happy Holidays! Below is an important progress CHRISKWANZUKKAH Rumor Patrol filled with invaluable information to help you bring in the season and to know what's what about what's up with what.
"But Joshua, what in the heck hole is CHRISKWANUKKAH?!?"You might ask. Simple- it means that no matter what holiday you celebrate this season you get a free gift from Progress every time you come in the cafe' for the month of December. Yippee skippee! Presents rule! It could be a free coffee, a dollar, 5 dollars, 10, 20, 50---up to $200 in Progress bux! Sweet!
So now it's time to get your favorite sweater, a warm lil' blanky, a hot cup of cider or cocoa or Progress Coffee, snuggle up and read away. And get an extra pair of wool socks, cause some of these rumors are gonna blow the ones you're wearing right off! (seriously)
Progress is now serving hot soup- TRUE Caramelized Onion Gorgonzola soup. Vegan Carrot Ginger Soup, Black Bean soup, and Hot & Sour soup.
Lindsey Lohan was spotted wearing a progress posse shirt- FALSE
I gave a dude $500 for wearing a Cafe' de Progress t-shirt- TRUE!
The first 100 customers that come into Progress next Friday, 12/12, will receive a coffee in a sweet KEEN travel mug- FREE! - Double True!
Grandma got run over by a reindeer. -FALSE
Christopher Royal King, lead singer of the bodacious band This WIll Destroy You is showing his artistic creations at Progress before the end of this year! True and False- The band has no singer but Chris is in the band and he is showing his art at Progress. Awesome!